The Shockwaves of my Soul
Brighter Days Ahead:
The sun breaks through and shows me the way to You.
How can this be, a soul so free?
My fears burn away from the sun’s luminous display.
Fighting and yearning is this mind fire burning
A soul once lost has succumbed to the sun’s exhaust.
The darkness may seep in,
But it’s this light journey I must begin.
For my soul has been shaken by this solar sensation.
My eyes open wide and relinquish the fear felt deep inside.
Here’s hoping to see some good that’s long overdue.
A warmth so loud can be heard all around.
There’s potential to be found in this optimism that surrounds.
Showing, growing are these lighter thoughts.
No longer do I remain hopeless and distraught.
The sun forgives and sets fire to my darkest sins.
Hanging high above is this burning sphere of love.
Why do I feel this way,
A stranger with so much to say?
My mind unwinds and leaves me unkind.
This beating of the heart has been killing me from the start.
Lonely I feel to what love has revealed.
When will I break free (if ever) from love’s hidden fee?
A prisoner at best to this monster of a test.
The struggle persists, though I deny it exists.
This cheating of the mind leaves me hopeless inside.
The things I’ve been told leave me shriveled and utterly cold.
Insufficient, “You’re just not good enough”.
When will it ever let up?
The decay of my mind has left me wondering inside.
Who will set me free from such judgements that have conquered me?
I miss the laughter, though a sadness follows after.
What is to become of this woman on the run?
Dodging the truth has yet to offer much use.
Reality sends a shocking blow to this heart that leaves me so low.
It’s hard to remain and not end up insane.
A pleasantry it is to confront the numbness from within.
You’re fine, you’re fine; please stop feeding me these lies.
For the hurt that I feel has grown in appeal.
Much to my surprise, I’m rather isolated inside.
Traveling ever-so slowly to the brink of demise.
Why do I feel this way?
It’s quite difficult for me to relay.
A stranger I shall remain to the heartbreak that I cannot stray.
State of Mystery:
Your spirit pulls me near, and I collapse into fear.
Tousled are my thoughts that leave me helpless and distraught.
I try to start anew, but it only leaves me with the memory of you.
These tricks my mind play leave me vulnerable in open display.
The light tries to break through, but the darkness consumes.
How does one move on when it’s the soul that’s hanging on to you?
I can’t go on this way.
For you leave me confused with the words you refuse to say.
Deep in my heart, I know we’re drifting apart.
But my feelings remain for a love I cannot contain.
I’ve tried building walls, only to watch them fall.
How is this living when you appear so unforgiving?
I search day and night, but you remain far from sight.
Trapped I shall forever be in an idea of “we” that set my mind free.
You appeared before me so familiar and real.
It’s these feelings I’ve formed that I must now try to conceal.
Deep inside, you wish to discard of me.
I feel this in my bones with every silent tone.
My eyes unplug and produce puddles of what once was.
I’ve been drowning in delusion and this pure state of confusion.
I may still hang on, but I realize this can’t go on.
For there will always be a piece of me that will go on loving you.
A strange place, indeed, is this state of mystery.
What Never Was:
I sit alone in my darkness and dismay,
Hoping, waiting that this love isn’t fading.
My mind spins in circles waiting for your next move.
Why can’t I stop thinking of something that never was?
The past has faded fast, though I wish it would last.
Stuck in this former time when our feelings were in their prime.
How my mind orchestrates these rhymes that hold me captive to what could’ve been.
Delusion seeps in and slowly wears my sanity thin.
I’m saddened by what I’ve done to leave you on the run.
My words have deepened this divide that sits with us deep inside.
To suffer loss hurts, but not knowing is often worse.
I wanted to understand, but it seems I’ve done all that I can.
It pains me to leave you in this time of bleeding
But I know you’ve moved on and I’m the one left needing
I thought we could be, but it’s reality I can’t see
It’s these dreams that I’m left with that leave me restless.
A Brother's Imprint:
Brother bird, you send my mind into spirals.
These reflections of unknowing are seemingly ever-showing.
Your love and your warmth no longer remain.
It's this feeling of loss that I cannot contain.
Your body earthbound, yet you're nowhere to be found.
It's your presence I miss whenever I feel the sun's kiss.
A bird soars high above, and I cannot help but think of your love.
How you took me under your wing and let my child-like spirit sing.
Your struggle was immense, though our time was well spent.
I may never know the hurt you felt, but these are the cards that fate has dealt.
As young as I was you treated me no different.
How you molded my soul and helped my heart listen.
To suffer your loss has left me deep with thought.
I reflect by the day, hoping you'll show me the way.
I've trailed many paths to make the memories last,
Yet I'm left abandoned on this pursuit of hoping to find you.
I try to remain strong, but it's often hard to hang on.
The memories of what once was and those now lost.
My eyes shed tears that have grown through the years.
Your soul intertwined in mine shall haunt me until the end of time.
Our hour was brief, which has left me with much grief.
Time may fade, but it's the memory of you that will remain.
Your spirit no longer contained by the clutches of Earth's chains.
Bound for life we are, though it's deepened my inner scars.
Please remain by my side through these new moments in time.